Firsthand Reckoning

an educated opinion, first hand experience, thoughts on Roe v Wade and the Right to Choose - Separation of Church and State.

Pro-birth is not pro-life with a system that isn’t built to encourage, engage or support single parents - nothing is built to support the birth giver or the children living in adversity.

I was a product of a culture that preaches anti-choice and I grew up with a mother who detested my existence. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I valued the time I had to decide to assume the responsibility of motherhood for my first born and the weighted role of breaking generational traumas to nurture healthy and progressive relationships with my children.

I became a single parent after escaping an abusive marriage (that my culture insisted I remain in and that I fought to leave for years) and I know first hand what a life looks like as a single parent responsible for two children, on their own with no support from the non-existent additional parent.

I know the life that he lives, lavish and full of zero responsibility or expectation. He doesn’t carry the weight of parenthood, he doesn’t know his children and is he prosecuted for this? Not at all. Who suffers? Tell me, seriously. Who suffers in this all too common situation.

I’d choose my children over and over again but that doesn’t change my passion for the choice of the mother. I am eternally grateful for the time I had to reflect on my choice, a choice that was painful and full of love and sacrifice. A choice I had to abort or to birth. I’m grateful. Yes, I chose to keep my child but I lost my entire family when I didn’t follow their “rules” of the woman’s role to suffer. When I chose to brave the unknown alone. The goal post will keep moving until Women’s Rights are completely dissolved.

So tell me, when should my shunning have begun? At the point of consideration of birthing my daughter or the decision to leave the father of my two children who had wounded us in incurable ways? At what point was I ever going to fit the mold of forgiveness for choosing correctly?

The fact is, I chose me and to this day - I recognize the judgment on the faces of those who do not carry the bravery to tell me to my face that they judge my past based on their blind religious code, something they know nothing of but consider sinister. How could a woman possibly have so much misfortune if it weren’t her own doing? Oh please, preach the word of your God to me and I’ll tell you I’ve said it to my own face. I’ve met my God. I know my freedom.

Had my high-risk pregnancy with my second born ended in still-birth or natural abortion, I would have been investigated for a crime under the current state and proposed federal laws. While mourning my inability to keep my child alive. Do not speak on what you do not know. My entire pregnancy was lived in fear until gestation. Everyday searching for movement or sign of life.

The miscarriages I suffered before FINALLY being approved for a tubal ligation for the sake of my sanity and health after multiple miscarriages due to unavoidable health issues. A process I was unjustly subjected to…I would not be allowed to have under the current laws. Are you really pro-life if you subject barren women to conceive and miscarry countless children? Think about this realistically.

My daughter should never be forced to live a life that she didn’t choose and I will never stop voting and acting on my civic responsibility to ensure that there is a proper separation of Church and State - a fundamental law that this entire country was built on.

Choose life - the life of the birth giver and come to me for a discussion if you challenge my stance on this, I’m ready for you. The privileged always seem to have the loudest voices - try living in adversity and realizing your lack of empathy before passing judgement.